{"id":2743,"date":"2022-02-16T11:57:11","date_gmt":"2022-02-16T17:57:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marvelousminds.net\/?p=2743"},"modified":"2022-02-16T11:57:13","modified_gmt":"2022-02-16T17:57:13","slug":"mirroring-emotions-with-children","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marvelousminds.net\/mirroring-emotions-with-children\/","title":{"rendered":"Mirroring Emotions with Children"},"content":{"rendered":"
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The interchange of emotional expression \u2013 at all stages and ages \u2013 has the power to help create connection and belonging, and this, in turn, cultivates self-esteem and determination. When we help children identify and express feelings, it leads to better school outcomes, healthier relationships, and a positive sense of self.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>

By navigating with empathy to the center of a child\u2019s world, parents and caregivers can help to nurture their child\u2019s expression of feelings and emotion, developing key ingredients for positive attitudes and behaviors later in life.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>

One of the ways that you can help build your child\u2019s emotional development is through the process of mirroring. With this skill, you are helping your child feel heard. Mirroring promotes a feeling of being understood, creates a language for emotions, helps to promote self-worth and a feeling of intrinsic value.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>

Here are three key steps in the mirroring process:<\/p>

1. Relate to Cues<\/strong> \u2013 Sometimes emotions can be hard to identify. Tune into your child\u2019s feelings by looking at their body language, listening to what they\u2019re saying, and observing their behavior:<\/p>

“You have been really quiet since we got home from school; your face is all red and you\u2019re looking down at the ground and you’re stomping your feet hard on the ground when you walk.\u201d<\/em><\/p>

2. Match & Reflect<\/strong> \u2013 Focus on your child\u2019s feelings. Use your child’s words, tone, and facial expressions to repeat back what you are hearing your child say. Try to be as detailed and specific as possible in describing and empathizing with your child. If they are not yet able to say what the emotion is, suggesting what they might be feeling can help.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>

\u201cSo, it was a really hard day at school because it felt like no one wanted to play tag on the playground with you during recess. Did you feel lonely and sad on the playground?\u201d\u00a0<\/em><\/p>

Know that you can reflect what your child thinks and feels without agreeing with your child. You aren’t approving of bad behavior or condoning disrespect, but demonstrating that all feelings are acceptable. This is not a teaching moment for your child (that can happen later); this is about your child feeling heard.\u00a0<\/p>

3. Validate Feelings<\/strong> \u2013 Validate your child\u2019s felt emotions without trying to \u201cfix\u201d their feelings. Remember to focus on feelings instead of behaviors\/actions.<\/p>

\u201cI understand. You think that is not fair. It\u2019s okay to feel disappointed.\u201d<\/em><\/p>

Over time, the range of emotions you notice and mirror will help your child to use language to express their feelings rather than behaviors and actions. This practice of mirroring helps children to know their feelings matter and encourages reflection, empathy, and self-acceptance. Your gut instinct may be to \u201cfix\u201d the unpleasant feeling, but with your empathy and presence, you are instilling internal resilience and tolerance for more difficult emotions.\u00a0<\/p>

by Caitlin Joycesmith, MSW<\/a><\/p>

\"Caitlin<\/p> <\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\t <\/div>\n\t \t<\/div>\n\t\t <\/div>\n\t \n\t<\/div>\n\t\n\t<\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The interchange of emotional expression \u2013 at all stages and ages \u2013 has the power to help create connection and belonging, and this, in turn, cultivates self-esteem and determination. 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When we help children identify and express feelings, it leads to better school outcomes, healthier relationships, and a positive sense of self.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p><p>By navigating with empathy to the center of a child\u2019s world, parents and caregivers can help to nurture their child\u2019s expression of feelings and emotion, developing key ingredients for positive attitudes and behaviors later in life.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p><p>One of the ways that you can help build your child\u2019s emotional development is through the process of mirroring. With this skill, you are helping your child feel heard. <strong>Mirroring promotes a feeling of being understood, creates a language for emotions, helps to promote self-worth and a feeling of intrinsic value.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p><p>Here are three key steps in the mirroring process:<\/p><p><strong>1. Relate to Cues<\/strong> \u2013 Sometimes emotions can be hard to identify. Tune into your child\u2019s feelings by looking at their body language, listening to what they\u2019re saying, and observing their behavior:<\/p><p><em>\"You have been really quiet since we got home from school; your face is all red and you\u2019re looking down at the ground and you're stomping your feet hard on the ground when you walk.\u201d<\/em><\/p><p><strong>2. Match & Reflect<\/strong> \u2013 Focus on your child\u2019s feelings. Use your child's words, tone, and facial expressions to repeat back what you are hearing your child say. Try to be as detailed and specific as possible in describing and empathizing with your child. If they are not yet able to say what the emotion is, suggesting what they might be feeling can help.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p><p><em>\u201cSo, it was a really hard day at school because it felt like no one wanted to play tag on the playground with you during recess. Did you feel lonely and sad on the playground?\u201d\u00a0<\/em><\/p><p>Know that you can reflect what your child thinks and feels without agreeing with your child. You aren't approving of bad behavior or condoning disrespect, but demonstrating that all feelings are acceptable. This is not a teaching moment for your child (that can happen later); this is about your child feeling heard.\u00a0<\/p><p><strong>3. Validate Feelings<\/strong> \u2013 Validate your child\u2019s felt emotions without trying to \u201cfix\u201d their feelings. Remember to focus on feelings instead of behaviors\/actions.<\/p><p><em>\u201cI understand. You think that is not fair. It\u2019s okay to feel disappointed.\u201d<\/em><\/p><p>Over time, the range of emotions you notice and mirror will help your child to use language to express their feelings rather than behaviors and actions. This practice of mirroring helps children to know their feelings matter and encourages reflection, empathy, and self-acceptance. Your gut instinct may be to \u201cfix\u201d the unpleasant feeling, but with your empathy and presence, you are instilling internal resilience and tolerance for more difficult emotions.\u00a0<\/p><p>by <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marvelousminds.net\/doctors-staff\/caitlin-joycesmith\/\">Caitlin Joycesmith, MSW<\/a><\/p><p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.marvelousminds.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Caitlin-Headshot-600-300x300.jpeg\" alt=\"Caitlin Joycesmith, MSW\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.marvelousminds.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Caitlin-Headshot-600-300x300.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/www.marvelousminds.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Caitlin-Headshot-600-150x150.jpeg 150w, https:\/\/www.marvelousminds.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Caitlin-Headshot-600-260x260.jpeg 260w, https:\/\/www.marvelousminds.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Caitlin-Headshot-600.jpeg 600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/p>","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marvelousminds.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2743"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marvelousminds.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marvelousminds.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marvelousminds.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marvelousminds.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2743"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.marvelousminds.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2743\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marvelousminds.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2744"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marvelousminds.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2743"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marvelousminds.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2743"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marvelousminds.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2743"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}